My friend Shireen sent me something great that helps break down the cooking of the turkey on Thanksgiving. Try it at Christmas. It's pretty easy to follow--MPS
Step 1: Buy a turkey.
Step 2: Have a glass of wine.
Step 3: Stuff turkey.
Step 4: Have a glass of wine.
Step 5: Put turkey in oven.
Step 6: Relax, and have a few more glasses of wine.
Step 7: Turk the bastey.
Step 8: Wine of glass another get.
Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer.
Step 10: Glass yourself another pour of wine.
Step 11: Bake the wine for 4 hours.
Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 13: Floor the turkey off the pick.
Step 14: Turk the carvey.
Step 15: Get yourself another wottle of bine.
Step 16: Tet the table, and pour yourself another glass of turkey.
Step 17: Say grace, throw-up and pass out.